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This cookie is native to PHP applications. "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. ", 88. Keep your circle small. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. You caused the problem. George Carlin quotes are hilarious. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". ", 116. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. ", 67. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. After that, they don't want to know about you. September 12, 2019. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. "How is it possible to have a civil war? ", 49. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. They own all the important land. Carlin is usually spot on. Everybody complains about politicians. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. This cookie is used to collect data on user behaviour and interaction to make advertisement on the website more relevant. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. Its you. But once the child is born? He saw it from a . Fewer Texans. ", 75. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. You don't. You have no choice. ", 107. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ", 100. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. ", 115. ", 3. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . ", 51. "How can [God] be perfect? "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. They want obedient workers. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. I like people who buck the system. Set by addthis.com to determine the usage of addthis.com service. Politicians don't care about you. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. They never mention that part to us, do they? "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. That's against their interests. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . ", 26. The cookies contains information that allows Prebid servers to distinguish between browsers and mobile devices. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. They own, and control the corporation. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. JIM STAFFORD. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. Thats against their interests. ", 8. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! "Men are from. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Owned by agkn, this cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes. 41. He always needs money! "Laugh often, long and loud. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. 3. ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. They've got you by the balls. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. Trouble is, most of them suck. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Let's start with critical race theory. Theyre not interested in that. ", 40. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. 4. I think. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. '", 123. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. "Some people see the glass half full. Am I right? Thats right. George Carlin was one of the more popular and influential comics to emerge from the 1960s counterculture. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. ", 41. Individualists. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. I didn't bother with him. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. "I was a loner as a child. They own you. ", 27. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. Yeah, the public sucks. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. ", 86. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? They own everything. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 ", 61. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). George Carlin was a comedian and social critic. 01. New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. "It's never just a game when you're winning. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. "People are wonderful one at a time. After that, they dont want to know about you. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. ", 35. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. ", 105. Teach them to question what they read. ", 30. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. ", 94. A Death! The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. This cookie is set by Eloqua. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Nobeody seems to care. You have no choice. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. They should be more vivid. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. You dont. You ever notice that? ", 96. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. ", 23. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". Join. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. I had an imaginary friend. "Never argue with an idiot. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? - George Carlin. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. "How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. Now, some people like to twist that around. Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. ", 17. "I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. "If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. "I have as much authority as the Pope. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Germany lost the Second World War. When a . You don't say that about cats. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. ", 34. "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. Toothpicks? Then you live in an old age home. They are irrelevant. ", 113. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. George Carlin. The truth is, we dont have people like that. The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. Thats the problem. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Weve learned how to make aliving, but not alife. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Thats what the owners count on, Carlin intones. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.