24. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? 0. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. What a surprise! They seem to make him quite happy. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. 11. You certainly will. Yeah, this means a lot to me. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. This post was actually very helpful for me! A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. Language gets corrupted. Interesting perspective. 5. The Psychology of Bragging. She says "Good boy. You would have to know the whole story. But who are you to affirm? When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. Hosted by Pressable. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? (My answer might surprise you. 1. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. 7. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Truly grateful to have such a loving family. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. 5. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. I have always struggled with this word. 8. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. Did I do anything extraordinary? Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Words have power and they can have a profound effect on us. The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. "Nothing is ever wrong. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. ". Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. But this seems less common. Thats my life goal. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. Oh.. very good. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. That makes you a living miracle. They just say it. Don't disguise it as concern, either. I am here for the same reason. "I know someone in recovery". She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. Date TBA. 1. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. 1. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. 2. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". Which brings me to my next point. The Proud Boys . I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. Pause before responding. Great to hear this. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? First, he is probably higher status / higher power. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Who determines the meaning of words? I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. 3. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. I dont think that without your support I can make it. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. 8. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. 3. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Thank you for starting this. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. Love you so much. Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. JavaScript is disabled. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. Looking for some extra money from your parents? Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. But is that really very useful? Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". . It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? 1. 7. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. . Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. but you do play a role in their success! Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. Family Tree. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Well, that truly makes my day. 3. 2. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. You will even fall in love with me again seeing the next surprise! Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. Im excited, are you? Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. Thank you all, too. If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? Future Planet. Thanks! 4. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Well done!. The words hit me like a . No, I am more proud of you, too. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. I grew up being complimented for my looks . Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. 2. 3. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? 2. SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . I teach high school. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. Thank you. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. Feb 10, . For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? Health Gap. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. 10. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. A strong argument is a solid one. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. 10. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. 1. I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. Be proud that you are here. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. So happy for us! A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? 17. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. Ah. It's nothing bad or unusual. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. 4. By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. You must log in or register to reply here. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Immune Response. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. All rights reserved. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. I think you deserve the credit for this all. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. . I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. Try The Behaviour Window. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. I was excited to see your reaction. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". She reciprocated. In what context? Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. And why should I stop using this phrase? Second, he must know you well. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Powered by WordPress. . 2014, 2016, 2019. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! by Carolyn Steber. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. Thank You. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. Oh, thank you, friend. Just let them be. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? 4. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. 12. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). Everything you do is with excellence. Can "me too" be used here? I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? Best of BBC Future. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry.
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