Miss Honey doesn't want you. She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. NIGEL, TOMMY MISS HONEY Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. And it's made of spikes and wood. Yes, sir. Do you have a job? Come on!] But she is a squib. MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". Matilda: You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? Dip face! MR WORMWOOD MRS PHELPS See you next week. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] MRS WORMWOOD And so you think you're A-ble Now sit up and look at the TV. Agatha, This is Magnus. AAAAAHHHHH! MR WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. Well, Matilda Wormwood. Hand's shaking. Back before my life had eNded, I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. The Secret Garden . You gotta be loud! It's a library book! MISS HONEY. "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". Matilda: . [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. LAVENDER I'm the best! Look at you trying to hide, silly. Hat seems to be, er . Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. So they say. Oh, hello, Miss Trunchbull. You can adopt me. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? I think I'm gonna keep this on. MRS WORMWOOD Okay! Restores my faith in human kind. The scene changes to the library. Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. Oh, my good Lord! Yes! MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. Come stai? MISS HONEY Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, Michael: The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. My daddy says I'm his special little . After your first day of school! You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! She taught us with a poem. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Million $ Sticky Host: And that's not a hint, by the way. . Neigh! I love books. google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. Please. Just because you find that life's not fair, it Trunchbull: The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Oh, my head! They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. BIG KID [BEN] Yes, sir. Sued by who? She found a small cottage. Great, big, question-asking . MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. I really hope you have a search warrant. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. Matilda: 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. And remember to be extremely careful. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] I shall pound you. And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? . MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. And remember to be eXtremely careful. Where'd all this come from? DOCTOR Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Jenny: CHILDREN 1 Harry Wormwood: Filthy, nasty things. . Good hair means a good brain. BIG KID [RYAN] Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! . What was my profit for the day? %PDF-1.5 She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". My daddy says I'm his special little guy. Brand new stock, sir! Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. I mean, my mum wanted me to stay at home with her. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, The table stops and the hands hit the ground. The world's greatest acrobat! Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. That's exactly what you've done. . I'd love to meet her, actually . AMANDA . I have all these extra. Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. cancelled! [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. MATILDA Sing, Jenny! And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. MISS TRUNCHBULL The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. Shift you! MRS WORMWOOD Jenny: And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] Bruce! Go on, Brucey! I can't abandon my children. Crazy Credits Matilda: BIG KIDS MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. No, but don't people need good cars? Prettier barrelina! . Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? MATILDA Oh my. Is your nickname glucose? One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Whoa! Now get out. The Wormwoods laugh. My hands are tied. "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". . One should avoid confrontation when possible. Leave it alone, Jenny. Knock on the door, Jenny. Who the hell do they think they are? "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. [yells] . . Get in the car, Melinda! "Right"? MRS WORMWOOD It's just a door. You gotta be loud! . Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. $5,000? Even if what you got is not a lot. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. The most common thing in life is life . I want you around here now with another car! Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] But I didn't . Yes. But it's a truth empirical Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. Not yet, anyway. Agatha Trunchbull: Well, this isn't my room at all! "thinking". . RG0 But here it is, coming true: [chanting with the rest of the class] You make money? Might she be a little brighter than her class? "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." I mean, what else? With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . Dad too. Maybe. See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. I did! MISS HONEY . Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. It's very quaint, it's very sweet, It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. LAVENDER He loves having me around. The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. Two times . ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. . Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. Stood! It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. celebrities! . Instead, she's found me. His do-dah. Six times two is twelve. What did you think? MATILDA ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. This it not your problem. "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! Matilda: I'm sorry, doctor. MAN: I think he blinked. Stuff it in. MISS TRUNCHBULL Don't be pathetic! Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. Bye-bye, sir. You're a little cheat, you saw the paper. . Agatha Trunchbull: Stop scaring your mother with that book, boy. Bruce Bogtrotter: In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. . . They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. . 9. [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Who is this, babe? The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. Are they good runners? MISS TRUNCHBULL In . That's not normal for a five-year-old. Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. Are you a pig, Amanda? Yes, yes. [COUPLES Oh, yes. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. You have a worm, BRUCE We're not rich. The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. The secret to my success is this. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. My daddy says I'm a bore. To the rules. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. 3. MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. My name is Miss Honey. My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, Was it magic? 13. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. You are a thief! You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! . Matilda! I've got a whole house to look after! No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. MR WORMWOOD Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. Agatha Trunchbull: They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. She uses them to carry on a conversation. I have suffered in this jail. Matilda's been here all morning. Agatha Trunchbull: Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. But it's a truth empirical. Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. Now go watch TV like a good kid. 6. MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: [wielding a hammer throw] Above average is average. Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Zinnia Wormwood: [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] Mrs. Wormwood: Stand back, son! Don't let her win. And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. Isn't there something you can do? LAVENDER One look at my face and it's plain to see. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. Zinnia Wormwood: Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. . Just because you find that life's not fair, it Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. My word is my law! Crime and Punishment . MR WORMWOOD Absolutely, sir! [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] . But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . Good-bye, Miss Honey. So go and put some highlights in your hair. FBI Agent Bob: (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. Look at these trophies. The Invisible Man . in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! Mr Wormwood! MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. PERSPERATION! Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. MATILDA collects her books. Harry Wormwood: Zinnia Wormwood: You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] the Acrobat's sister. (Bruce!) MATILDA Ahh! I didn't do it. You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. A poem? and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Auuurrrgh! "It is our destiny ". Has incredible upper-body strength. MR WORMWOOD paces the stage. I can! . NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Alternate Versions See how they shine? Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Nicholas Nickleby . You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. The police decided he killed himself. I'm in the zone, doll! [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? 1 0 obj MATILDA BACKGROUND SINGERS endobj To fetch a pail of water. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? . [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. You Harry Wormwood: It's from the library! 2. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. Chew your food; you're an animal! MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. Lovekins, where's my breakfast? . You're not a little girl. [suspicious] It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. What?! said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius! No one's going to look if you don't stand out. The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. Oh, er, hello. Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read sentences. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. You . When I grow up . MISS TRUNCHBULL Back before my life had ended, Innocent victims of their story. [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] Agatha Trunchbull: Er, what books did you read? . google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. Matilda: We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. Useless, flamin' car! He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. Rules? I'm not guilty! Science pick up lines 1. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. But learning a language is over the top . What you know matters less AAAHH! Specialness is de rigueur. Oh, you stupid man. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. Over a drink. MISS HONEY . She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. MATILDA I am FULLwhen and onlywhen the Headmistress says I am FULL. Agatha Trunchbull: Zinnia Wormwood: [to the phone] I'm gonna call you straight back. I'm not crying because it's sad. You just need to keep your feet inside the line. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up queens! MATILDA Harry Wormwood: What are you waiting for? Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. ACROBAT [off-stage] Mine are driving me crazy. % For men. . It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. Oh, Matilda! [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] BIG KID [BEN] 9:17, suspect exits domicile. ". Zinnia Wormwood: An idiot? Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! MRS WORMWOOD Agatha Trunchbull: What? Well done, Bogtrotter. Is it some modern miracle of calculus Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? Oh, let's put it this way. Chocolate cake. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon.
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