George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. } catch (err) { He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. The people are fucked." George Carlin tags: funny , humanity , humor 8709 likes Like apstag.init({ They own all the important land. This made him outstanding. Weve added years to life, not life to years. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. 3. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. Did you enjoy this article? Its interested in its own power. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. var googletag = googletag || {}; " George Carlin })(); We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Lists. In America, anyone can become president. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. The people are f***ed. Every day we present the best quotes! Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); American var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? He's the subject of a new documentary. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Its totally FREE. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); Lets get started! And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. George Carlin. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. The planet is fine. George Carlin. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. Stand-Up Comedy. They will do anything for the unborn. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); init: function() { 383 talking about this. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. . for(var i=0; i Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. How are YOU going to tackle today? They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. The planet is fine. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. It will not be with jack-boots. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. You dont. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. } I love individuals. Property is theft. They own, and control the corporations. We havent tried that for a while. }, We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. 3. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. 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